Talk Shows Gone Horribly Wrong
by Shadowwolf5
Summary: #CHAPTER 8 IS UP!!!!# (More questions answered by Leon)Talk shows, but this time, the characters each get their own show! What kind of madness will follow? Flames welcome. Please give ideas through reviews or e-mail if you have any. Please R&R ^ ^
1. Late Nite With Bit Cloud

**Shadowwolf:**  Okay, one night I got an idea.

**Bit:**  Is it a good one?

**Shadowwolf:**  I don't know yet.  So, there are quite a few fics out there that have the author as a talk show host, and the characters as guests.

**Bit:**  Your point?

**Shadowwolf:**  Gee, someone's impatient today. *glares at Bit* So, I thought, what if I gave each character their own talk show.  You know, to do whatever they wanted to do.  They could have special guests and stuff.  Anyways, here it goes.

**Leena:**  Do I get my own?

**Shadowwolf:**  So far I have ideas for Bit, Brad, Leena, Doc, and Jamie.  Kind readers:  If you want, you could give me suggestions for shows and other people to host the shows.

**Brad:**  Do we get paid for this?

**Shadowwolf:**  *sigh* Of course.  Now, who wants to go first?

**Bit, Leena, & Doc:**  *jumping up and down* Me, me, me, me!!

**Shadowwolf:**  *sweatdrop* How about alphabetical order?

**Leena:**  Fine.

**Doc:**  Okay!

**Bit:**  Yippee!

**Shadowwolf:**  Okay, first up is…Bit Cloud!!!!!  It will be in script format, because it just seems easier.  Disclaimer:  I do not own Zoids or the characters.  Don't sue.  If you do, I'll sick my evil demon dog on you! (He chews up everything!!)

**Bit:**  My turn!!

**Shadowwolf:**  Okay, okay.  Enjoy everyone!

TALK SHOWS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG

LATE NITE WITH BIT CLOUD

(Judge) Announcer:  Live from the Hovercargo, it's Late Nite with Bit Cloud!!!!!

Audience:  *cheers, whistles*

Bit:  *walks in* Thank you, thank you.  Now, let's get on with the show!!!!

Audience:  *cheers*

Bit:  *sits down* Now our first-

*hand goes up in audience*

Bit:  Yes?

Some woman wearing a t-shirt that says "I love Bit Cloud!" on it:  Will you go out with me?!

Bit:  Ummm, no thanks.

Woman:  Why not?  Who do you like?

Bit:  Umm, *blushing* no one right now.

Some dude in leather jacket:  Liar!! You like Leena!  Admit it!!

Bit:  *heavy blush* Not true!! How could anyone love her?

Leena (sitting in back row):  YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT COMMENT BIT!!!!

Bit:  *cringes* He, he.  Sorry.  Let's get our first guests out here.  Ladies, gentlemen, and Leena, please welcome, The Fuzzy Pandas!!!

Leena:  Are you saying I'm not a lady?!

Bit:  Not exactly.

Fuzzy Pandas:  *walk in, grab Bit by the neck* How many times do we have to tell you?!  We're the Tigers, the Tigers!!! (or is it the Zaber Fangs now?)

Bit:  *gasp* Sorry.

Fuzzy Pandas:  *sit down*

Bit:  So, *rubs neck* can we ask you a few questions?

FP:  Sure.

Bit:  Okay.  Number one.  Do you guys ever win?

FP:  What kind of a question is that?!  We win a lot.  We had that 14 win winning streak, remember?!

Bit:  Oh yeah, but that was only 'cause you were zapping your opponents with the lighting stuff. *makes thunder sounds*

FP:  Was not!!  It was our raw skills!!!

Bit:  Whatever.  Next question.  Why do your jackets have fuzzy things on them?

FP:  Because, um, because…they were just made like that!

Bit:  Okay.  Um lets see, did you think it was funny when the judge called you 'The Fuzzy Pandas' in the Royal Cup?

FP:  Are you kidding?!  It wasn't funny at all!!  That little mix-up cost us the Royal Cup!!

Bit:  Yeah right, you never could've beaten Vega.  And besides, it was too funny.  When Jamie and Leena told me and Brad about it, we both busted our guts laughing.  And you know how hard it is to get Brad to even laugh at all.

FP:  We could too beat Vega, and Brad must've been on a sugar rush.  He drinks so much coffee.

Bit:  Enough on that subject.  One more question from me, then we'll go to our audience.  Why don't you hire a mercenary to help you?

FP:  Well, Brad is with you guys, Jack Sisco didn't want anything to do with us, and all the others stink.  Hey!  We don't need any mercenary to do our work for us!!!

Bit:  Audience?  Any questions?

Audience:  *silence*

Bit:  Okay then, let's go to commercial.

*commercials for 2 minutes*

Bit:  Welcome back.  The Fuzzy Pandas, *growls from backstage* I mean the Tigers, had to go get ready for a battle that they'll undoubtedly lose.  *loud growls from backstage* I mean win, did I say lose?  I meant win.  Well, our next guest is, Benjamin, from The Champ Team.

Benjamin:  *walks in, sits down* Hi Bit.

Bit:  Well, Benjamin.  What is it like living with Harry?

Benjamin:  It's really quite disturbing.  Non-stop Leena 'worshiping'.  I'm telling you, that boy needs some serious help.

Bit:  No kidding.  Now that we're on the subject of love, how's the judge?

Benjamin:  Oh, she dumped me for a lousy Dark Judge.

Audience:  *gasps* *oooohhh*

Bit:  No way!! You've got to be kidding me!

Benjamin:  Nope.

Bit:  How horrible! There must be a glitch in her system.  We're almost out of time.  Audience, any questions for Benjamin?

Guy in t-shirt and jeans:  How do you put up with Sebastian? He really bugs me.

Benjamin:  He's not so bad once you get to know-

Bit:  That's all the time we have for now!  Thanks for watching! *waves as the camera moves back up to ceiling*

**Shadowwolf:**  So, what did ya think?  Hope you enjoyed, and I just decided, flames are welcome.  It's probably really stupid, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway.  When I'm all done, I want to let people vote for who they want to have one last show.  Please review, and next time's host is, Brad Hunter!!!!!!!!

**Brad:**  I'd better go plan for it.

**Bit:**  Whatever.  My show's the best.

**Leena:**  No, mine will be!

**Shadowwolf:**  Thanks! ^ ^


	2. Friday Nite With Brad Hunter

**Shadowwolf:**  We're back and now it's Brad's turn.  What will happen on this show?

**Bit:**  Not much, Brad's as dull as dirt.

**Shadowwolf & Brad:**  -_- TAKE THAT BACK!!

**Bit:**  Okay, okay, I take it back.  Jeeze, I didn't know both of you would attack me.

**Shadowwolf:**  Well.  Okay Brad, you got a guest for your show?

**Brad:**  Yep! ^ ^

**Shadowwolf:**  Who?

**Brad:**  You'll see.

**Bit:**  *snickers* It's Naomi, isn't it?

**Brad:**  *blush* No, why would she be on it?

**Bit:**  'Cause you like her.

**Brad:**  *blushing more* You'll find out! Can we get started?

**Shadowwolf:**  Sure.  Disclaimer:  I do not own Zoids or the characters.  I don't own Wild Wild West either.  Don't sue.

**Leena:**  *walks in* Did I miss Brad's 'better than Bit's, but worse than mine' show?

**Bit & Brad:**  *sweatdrop*

**Shadowwolf:**  Nope.  Have a seat.  Readers:  Thanks for suggestions and Touya no miko, your question will be answered!  Thanks for the reviews and please enjoy this chapter!

^ ^

TALK SHOWS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG

FRIDAY NITE WITH BRAD HUNTER

(Judge) Announcer:  Live from Romeo City, it's Friday Nite With Brad Hunter!!!!!!!!!

Audience:  *whistles* *cheers*

Female half of audience:  *screams* *faints*

Brad:  *walks in with cup of coffee* Thanks everyone.  *sits down* How are you guys? And I mean 'guys' literally.

Audience:  Good!

Brad:  Wonderful.  Our first guest is the beautiful, talented, beautiful, sharp shooting queen, Naomi Flugel!!!!

Audience (all guys):  *whistles, cheers* *half passes out*

Naomi:  *walks in* *sits in chair next to Brad* Hi guys.

Brad:  *drooling* H-hi Naomi.  How ya been?

Naomi:  Good.  I've been on a winning streak too.

Brad:  Great!  Um, right, questions.  Could I ask you a few questions?

Naomi:  Shoot!

Bit (sitting at drum set):  *does the drum joke thing* *dudun, ch!* (stupid, I know!)

Brad:  *glares at Bit* Thanks for that wonderful, demonstration of your poor sense of humor.  Security!

Two big strong guys in blue uniforms:  *pick up Bit and drum set and walk out*

Brad:  Anyways, question one.  Why do you have a red Gun Sniper?

Naomi:  I guess it's because I like red and it symbolizes courage and stuff.  (Wild Wild West, when James is about to get hung. ^ ^)

Brad:  *staring at Naomi, sigh* Oh, um question two.  Do you like mercenaries?

Naomi:  What do you mean, like think they're nice or what?

Brad:  Something like that… *sigh*

Naomi:  Yeah, I guess they're okay.  You're the only one I really know.  I've never worked with Jack Sisco, and I don't know any others.

Brad:  *blushes* Okay, next and last question.  Will you go out with me?

Naomi:  *heavy blush* Umm…well…I…

Brad:  *sad look*

Naomi:  Oh…I…YES!!!

Brad:  Yippee!!! *jumps up and down*

Audience (what's left that hasn't lost consciousness):  Ooohhhhhhhh.

Brad & Naomi:  *hug* *kiss*

Brad:  We're…gunna…go to…commercial now.

*commercials for 5 minutes*

Brad:  Well, we're finally back.  Sorry it took so long.

Guy in audience:  Why did it take so long?

Audience (half have awakened):  Yeah!

Brad:  More commercials, equals more money.

Audience:  *falls over Anime style*

Brad:  Unfortunately, Naomi had to leave to go get ready for a Zoid battle.  Any questions from our audience?  *hand goes up, Brad points to person*

Touya no miko:  Will you go out with me?!

Brad:  Didn't you just see Naomi and I kiss?

Touya no miko:  No. *sad face*

Brad:  Hmmm.  You must've been one of the ones that fainted.  Sorry, I won't go out with you.

Touya no miko:  Ooohhhhh. *sits down* *mumbles*

Brad:  Any more questions? *hand goes up again*

:  What do you think of Naomi and Leon being pared together?

Brad:  Um, I'm not terribly happy about it, to say the least.

Woman in jacket:  Leon's cute!

Brad:  Anyways, *sips coffee* we won't have any more guests today.

Guy in jeans:  Why not?!

Brad:  More guests, costs me more money.

Audience:  *falls over Anime style again*

*audience and Brad sit for 10 minutes*

Brad:  Well, I guess we're about out of time.

Audience:  *startled from their slumber* Huh?  Oh.

Brad:  Thanks for watching and I hope you enjoyed!

**Shadowwolf:**  Well, that was interesting.  (Sorry he didn't say yes Touya no miko.)  Why couldn't you have more guests?

**Brad:**  Like I said, more guests-

**Shadowwolf:**  Equals more money, I know, but just this once you could've spent more money.

**Brad:**  Oh well.

**Bit:**  *runs in* My sense of humor is not poor!

**Jamie:**  *sits on couch* *fart sound*

**Bit:**  *bursts out laughing*

**Jamie:**  *blushing* *stands up, finds Whoopee Cushion* *glares at Bit*

**Bit:**  Man, that was funny, huh Jamie?

**Jamie:**  Uggghhhh.

**Shadowwolf & Brad:**  Oh, brother…

**Bit:**  What?

**Shadowwolf:**  You obviously have a poor sense of humor, a Whoopee Cushion?

**Bit:**  Yeah, wasn't it great?

**Brad:**  No, not really.

**Bit:**  Fine! -_-

**Shadowwolf:**  Thanks for reading, and please review! ^ ^


	3. Doctor Toros Live

**Shadowwolf:**  Hi wonderful readers and reviewers!!!!  Thanks to everyone; and BlueAngel's questions will be answered.  ^_- Bit and Leena both think their talk shows are gonna be the best, and I think Brad's just happy if he gets to have Naomi on his show again.

**Brad:**  Shut up!

**Shadowwolf:**  *snickers* It's true.  Anyways, I forgot to say who's next at the end of Brad's show, so here it is…Doc!

**Bit:**  Huh?

**Leena:**  You're having my dad on?

**Shadowwolf:**  Yep!  I thought it would be interesting…

**Brad:**  There's no doubt about that.  Do you know who his guest will be?

**Shadowwolf:**  Yeah, but you'll have to wait to find out.

**Doc:**  *walks in* I'm all ready for my show.

**Bit:**  Okay, are you bringing your models?

**Doc:**  Of course!  I'm going to show them off to the whole world!!

**Shadowwolf:**  Okay then.  Let me do the legal junk and then we can get on with it.  Disclaimer:  I do not own Zoids or the characters.  Don't sue.

**Leena:**  I'm gonna go get some popcorn.

**Doc:**  Ooooh, popcorn?!  I want some!!

**Bit & Brad:**  *hold Doc back* Later, right now you've got a show to do!

**Doc:**  *calms down* Oh yeah.  Wish me luck!

**Shadowwolf:**  Good luck!  Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for your great ideas!

^ ^

TALK SHOWS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG

DOCTOR TOROS LIVE

(Judge) Announcer:  Live from the Toros Base in the middle of the desert, it's Doctor Toros Live!!!!!!

Audience:   *whistles, cheers*

Doc:  *walks in* Hello everyone! *sits at desk covered with Zoid models* Do you want to see my Zoid models before our first guest gets here?

Audience:  Sure!

Doc:  *holds up Shadow Fox* This is the RZ-046 Shadow Fox.  It is my favorite and it's the coolest ever.  Look, the gun turret even spins around! *makes it spin* Now, these are the smoke dischargers…

(For the benefit of our readers, we have skipped this entire Zoid model showcase because it took over 45 minutes.  Thank you.)

Doc:  And finally, this is the tail gun.  *puts Liger Zero model down* So, our first guest is Vega!

Audience:  *snore* Huh? Oh, yaaaaay!

Vega:  *walks in, sits down*

Doc:  Hi Vega!  Could I ask you a few questions?

Vega:  Sure!

Doc:  OKAY!! How much would you say the Berserk Fury is worth?

Vega:  Oh, I don't know.  Maybe…$400 billion.

Doc:  *whistle* Well, would you sell it for $200 billion?

Vega:  Well, maybe, but I don't want to sell it.

Doc:  That's too bad, I would've bought it from you.

Brad:  *runs out from backstage* *shakes Vega's hand* Thank you for not letting Doc spend all of our money! *runs back to backstage*

Everyone:  *silence*

Doc:  Okay………one more question.  How much does the Backdraft pay you?

Vega:  Ummm, about $300 million.

Doc:  Really?  'Cause I could pay you more…

Vega:  That's okay, I think I'll stay with the Backdraft.

Brad:  *runs out from backstage* *shakes Vega's hand* Thanks for saving our money again!

Doc:  Brad!!! This is coming out of your paycheck!

Brad:  *hangs head* *walks back to backstage*

Doc:  Well thanks for com-

*Berserk Fury busts through side of stage*

Dr.Layon:  Muahahahahaha!!!!!  Vega, you're dismissed!

Vega:  *runs out*

Dr.Layon:  Why didn't you invite me as your guest?!

Doc:  Because I knew you'd destroy my show!!

*stare down with Doc and Dr.Layon*

*commercials for 3 minutes*

*comes back, Dr.Layon is sitting in chair next to Doc*

Doc:  Well, we decided to just try and finish the talk show with Dr.Layon as our guest.

Dr.Layon:  It was MY idea!

Doc:  Whatever Layon.  Do we have any questions from our audience?

BlueAngel:  What's your favorite model?

Doc:  Hmmmm, that's a tough one.  I'd have to say the Shadow Fox, its little spinning gun and stuff are just so cool!!!! (that comes mostly from me, but oh well! ^ ^)

Dude in leather jacket:  This is to Dr.Layon.  Why don't you just give up?  You'll never win!  And why did you trust Brad to join the Backdraft?

Dr.Layon:  Well, um.  I don't give up because I will beat the Blitz Team, and I um, I…

Doc:  What?

Layon:  Well, I guess I thought our pay would be enough to get Brad to join the BDG.  Typical mercenary, money, money, money.

Brad:  *is now sitting in audience with the rest of the Blitz Team* Yeah, well at least I follow the rules of the ZBC.  And I doubt you could pilot a Zoid better than a two year old!

Layon:  What?! Bring it on, long-hair-boy!!

Brad:  Name the time and place, and I'll be there for a Zoid battle!  Rules or no rules?

Layon:  I'll take no rules, right now, outside the Toros base!

Brad:  Let's do it then!!

Doc:  Now, now children, let's calm down.  I'm sure we could do this another time.

Brad & Layon:  RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

Doc:   Okay………knock yourselves out, *whispers* literally, please.

Brad & Layon:  *jump in Zoids and run outside*

Doc:  Well, lets get this show finished up so we can go watch the battle, which is sure to be good.  Any more questions?

Bit:  Why do you always give my money to Brad?!

Doc:  Oh, thanks for reminding me.  *picks up radio thingy* Brad, if you win, you get Bit's next paycheck………*Brad* Thanks Doc, but I'd win no matter what………

Bit:  *jumps up* Doc!!!!!  Why?!?! *Leena pulls him back down into seat*

Leena:  Go ahead Dad.

Doc:  Thanks Leena.  Any more questions?

Naomi:  *sitting in row behind Blitz Team* Is it okay if I fight for the Blitz Team next season? (Do they have seasons? Oh well…) 'Cause he did make a deal with me at the Royal Cup…

Doc:  Sure!  You're a great sniper, and I'm sure no one would mind, right guys? *looks up at Blitz Team*

Leena:  *jumps up* But Dad, why does she have to join our team?  Why can't Brad join her team?!

Doc:  Because we need Brad and Naomi is a really good fighter.  Don't have a cow, it will be fun.

Leena:  But Dad!  We have to settle whose Gun Sniper is better! *Bit pulls her back down into her seat*

Bit:  Go ahead Doc.

Doc:  Thanks.  Any more questions?

Audience:  *crickets chirping*

Doc:  Who the heck let crickets into the stage?

Stage dude:  Um, sir.  It's 9pm and we're in the desert, crickets tend to chirp during this time.

Doc:  Oh, thanks.  Since it's getting late I guess I'll have to end the show now.  Thanks for watching and-

*crashing sound as Judge capsule lands nearby*

Doc:  Well, I guess Brad and Layon are about to start their battle.  Let's go watch!!!

*Doc and everyone in stage runs out to watch battle*

**Shadowwolf:**  Well, it looks like we've been completely abandoned.  Isn't that right Ein?

**Ein:**  Woof!

**Shadowwolf:**  Oh yeah, I don't own Cowboy Bebop or Ein the dog either.  Thanks for reminding me.

**Ein:**  Woof, bark!

**Shadowwolf:**  Yeah, yeah hold on.  Thanks for reading and please review!  Next show's host is………Harry Champ!!! (Things might get a little out of order from here on out, because I have gotten /so/ many great ideas from you guys! ^ ^) Thanks for reading! ^ ^


	4. Harry Champ's Leena Hour

**Shadowwolf:**  Hi, um no one is back from watching the battle between Brad and Layon yet.  I wonder how it's going…

**Ein:**  Woof, woof, bark!!

**Shadowwolf:**  What is it Ein? Who's here?

*Dr.Layon, Doc, and Blitz Team walk in*

**Shadowwolf:**  I guess we should call Ed to come pick you up. *looks at Ein*

**Ein:**  *tilts head like dogs do*

*some kind of beam comes out of nowhere and beams up Ein*

**Shadowwolf:**  Bye Ein! So, *looks at Zoid people* what happened?

**Bit:**  Oh man, it was so cool! This big lase-

**Leena:**  *puts hand over Bit's mouth* Um, we'll let Brad describe it to you.

**Shadowwolf:**  So? *looks at Brad* What kind of Zoid did Layon pilot, and most importantly, who WON?!?!

**Brad:**  Well, Layon piloted the Berserk Fury, and…

**Shadowwolf:**  *about to fall out of her chair* Well?!?!

**Brad:**  I WON!!!!!

**Shadowwolf:**  *gets starry eyed* Yay!!!!

**Layon:**  Well, I'm pretty sure he cheated…

**Brad:**  How could I cheat?! There were no rules, remember?

**Layon:**  Oh shut up!

**Shadowwolf:**  That's enough you two.  Bit's in a great mood considering that Brad gets his next paycheck.

**Bit:**  Oh no!! I forgot! And to think, all that time I was cheering for Brad!

**Brad:**  I didn't win because you cheered for me!

**Leena:**  Just calm down, would you?!

**Jamie:**  Um, I'm gonna go work on my Raynos…*walks off*

**Layon:**  Now, Leena, let us men handle this…

**Leena:**  WHAT?! YOU THINK I CAN'T HELP, JUST BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN?!

*everyone but Doc and Shadowwolf jump on each other and a big smoke cloud forms*

**Doc:**  I'm gonna go play with my models…*walks off*

**Shadowwolf:**  That was pointless and stupid.  Oh well.  Where's Harry?  Thanks to all readers and reviewers for suggestions and stuff.  I hope you enjoy this chapter.  Oh yeah, disclaimer:  I do not own Zoids or the characters, don't sue.  I don't own Cowboy Bebop or Ein either.

**Bit:**  Owwww!

**Leena:**  Sorry, I was aiming for Brad.

**Brad:**  What did I do?

**Leena:**  Well, your long hair, just smacked me in the face, long-hair-boy!!

**Brad:**  That's it!!

**Shadowwolf:**  *throws blanket on them* Shut up! On to the show!

TALK SHOWS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG

HARRY CHAMP'S LEENA HOUR

(Judge) Announcer:  Live from the Champ Base in the middle of the desert, it's Harry Champ's Leena Hour!!

Audience:  (less than excited) Yaay.

Harry:  *walks in* Hello everyone! I'm Harry Champ, and I'm a man destined to be king.

Audience:  *cough* Hello Harry.

Harry:  Well, enough stalling.  Our first guest will be, Leena Toros!

*everyone turns to look at door* *no one's coming*

Harry:  Um, he, he.  Bit! Brad! Get your butts doing the job I'm paying you to do!

*Bit and Brad hold Leena by the arms and drag her onto the stage, and into a chair next to Harry*

Harry:  Thanks boys.

Brad:  *grumbling to Bit* Boys? Since when are we boys? *Bit and Brad walk backstage*

Harry:  How've ya been Leena?!

Leena:  I've definitely been better.

Harry:  Oh, did those brutes, Bit and Brad, hurt my poor sweet Leena?

Leena:  Um, no.  I just /really/ don't want to be here.

Harry:  Oh.

Leena:  Can I say a few words?

Harry:  Sure!

Leena:  *clears throat* This is to Bit and Brad; When I get outta here, Bit, you're gonna have the worst medical problems you've ever had, and Brad, I'm gonna make sure Doc doesn't pay you for the next five years!!! *laughs evilly*

Brad:  *pokes head out door* If I stay on your stupid team that long!

Harry:  Brad!!! Get out of here before I get really mad!

Brad:  *whispers* Oh, I'm /so/ scared…*walks off*

Harry:  Leena, honey.  I have some questions for you. First; If you could have any Zoid you wanted, what would it be?

Leena:  Well, I guess I would have, a…………Dibison again.  Only this time, I would put as many weapons on it as possible.

Harry:  That's all? Why Leena my darling, I can get you one of those any time you want. Just let me finish my questions.  Now, do you like living with robots?

Leena:  Well, I wouldn't know.  I've never lived with any.

Harry:  Well, they're quite nice.  Last qu-

Sailor Jurai:  Can you buy me a Gun Sniper or a Storm Sworder or something?

Harry:  I will, but I'm saving my money for when-

Sailor Jurai:  Do you have any Zoid models?

Harry:  I used to, but I gave it to Doc so I could go out on a date with Leena.  He wanted it so bad that he would do anything for it, so he made Leena go on a date with me.

Leena:  *shudders* Don't remind me.

Harry:  Now let me-

Blue Angel:  Why do you have a crush on Leena??

Harry:  Because she's a very nice, pretty, talented young woman.

Bit:  *from backstage* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Harry:  BIT!!!!

*silence*

Harry:  Now, let me ask my-

Blue Angel:  And why is it if you're so rich you always use the same Zoids!?!?!?!  Can I have a Saber Tiger pleeeeeeez!!!! *makes little kawaii face* I want a blue one!!!! =^.^=

Harry:  I like the Dark Horn.  It has lots of cool guns and stuff.  I'll mail you a Saber Tiger. A blue one.  Now, let me ask my question!  Leena will-

Guy in ripped t-shirt:  Won't you ever understand that Leena hates your guts?

Harry:  Leena loves me!  Now, Leena, will you marry me?

Audience:  *gasp* Awwwwwwww…

Leena:  *gasp* Umm, this is so unexpected. *looks around audience* But, no.

Harry:  Oh, I know, we need to get to know each other better.  That's perfectly fine, Leena my love.

Leena:  Right. Can I go now?

Harry:  If you must.

Leena:  Uh, yeah.  We got a Zoid battle in an hour.  See ya!

Audience:  Bye Leena!

Leena:  *walks backstage* BIT!!!! BRAD!!!!!!!!

Harry:  Well, our next guest is……Sebastian!

Audience:  Yaaay!

Sebastian:  *walks/wheels over to chair* It's a pleasure to be here.

Drunk dude:  Hey!  Why you havin' your own banana on the boat?

Harry:  Security! *Bit and Brad drag him out of the building*

Harry hating woman:  Do you have Bit and Brad do all your dirty work for you?

Harry:  No.  They just do it for extra money.

Harry hating woman:  I could understand Brad doing it for money.  But you couldn't pay Bit to humiliate himself like that.

Harry:  Okay, so I promised to get him new transformation parts for his Liger.  Who cares?

Harry hating woman:  *rude gesture*

Harry:  Security! *Bit and Brad grab her by the arms*

Harry hating woman:  Hey!  Let me go!  I have my…oh.  Brad, you've got such nice muscles…

*Bit and Brad drag her out of building*

Harry:  Disturbing.  Anyway, I'm having Sebastian as a guest because I'm sure you all want to learn more about my robot friends.

Sebastian:  I thought you said it was because you couldn't get anyone else to be a gue-

Harry:  One more word, and I'll send you to the junkyard!

Sebastian:  So, ask me some questions!

Harry:  Okay, have you ever fallen in love with a judge like Benjamin did?

Sebastian:  No.  That's unheard of. Benjamin's just weird.

Harry:  Okay.  Audience, do you have any questions?

*big explosion as Shadow Fox crashes into studio*

Harry:  What's going on here?

Brad (in Shadow Fox):  Leena came after us. (Bit) You alright Brad? (Brad) I'm fine.

*Shadow Fox stands up and walks out hole in the wall*

Harry:  Okay……

*Bit and Brad do 'Strike Laser Claw' and blow up Leena*

Bit:  We win!

Harry:  Back to the show.  Um, any questions?

Guy in ripped shirt:  Why haven't there been any commercials yet?

Harry:  'Cause I'm so rich, I don't need to have any commercials on my show.  Any more questions?

*silence*

Harry:  Well, I guess I'm gonna go beat up Bit and Brad, and avenge my Leena!!

Audience:  HAHAHA!!

Harry:  What's so funny?!

Audience:  _You_ beat up _Bit and Brad? _ HAHAHA!!

Harry:  Shut up!  Until the next show.  Leena is the queen and I am her king!

Audience:  *laughs harder* HAHAHA!!!

**Shadowwolf:**  Well, looks like his show went less than well with the audience.  And Leena didn't even stay on the show for the whole hour.  Jeeze.

**Brad:**  Um, why did we even have a fight, you know, before the show?

**Shadowwolf:**  'Cause I was mad when I wrote it and I wanted you guys to beat each other up.

**Bit, Brad, Leena, and Dr.Layon:**  Oh……

**Shadowwolf:**  So, thanks to everyone for reading, and please review.  Hope you enjoyed.  Next show will be hosted by……Jamie Hemeros!! ^ ^


	5. Late Night With Jamie Hemeros: Tonight's...

**Shadowwolf:**  I'm baack!!! *everyone sits and stares*

*crickets*

**Shadowwolf:**  Anyway, um, this show will be hosted by Jamie Hemeros!!!

**Blitz Team:**  Yaay!

**Jamie:**  *gulp*

**Shadowwolf:**  What's the matter Jamie?

**Jamie:**  Well, I've just never hosted a show before.

**Bit:**  Oh Jamie, don't worry, it's not that hard.

**Brad:**  Yeah, if Bit can do it, you can.

**Bit:**  What is that supposed to mean?

**Brad:**  Nothing…

**Bit:**  …

**Leena:**  I'm sure you'll do fine.

**Jamie:**  You're right, I'm gonna go out there, and show them what I'm made of! *runs away*

**Everyone:**  ……right.

**Shadowwolf:**  Disclaimer:  I do NOT own Zoids, the characters, Rogaine, or anything in this story.  Don't sue.  Thanks for all of the great reviews!  (To Sakura Courage Solo: ^_-) Now, on to the show!!

TALK SHOWS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG

LATE NIGHT WITH JAMIE HEMEROS: TONIGHT'S SPECIAL GUEST, *****

(Judge) Announcer:  Welcome to Late Night With Jamie Hemeros!!!!!

Audience:  Yaaaaaayyyy!!!!!!!!!!

Jamie:  *walks on stage* Hello, e-everyone. *blushes*

Woman with 'Jamie Rocks!' shirt, sitting on Storm Sworder:  I love you Jamie!!!

Jamie:  Huh? *does double take* Pierce?!

Pierce:  Yeah!  How did you know it was me?!

Jamie:  Not many women fly a Storm Sworder everywhere.

Pierce:  *looks down at Storm Sworder* Oh, I guess you're right…

Jamie:  Well, you weren't originally going to be my guest, but why don't you come on down any- O_O

Pierce:  What's wrong?

Jamie:  Did y-you s-s-say, 'I love you Jamie'?

Pierce:  *blush* Yeah…

Jamie:  O_o *passes out*

*EMT's run out on stage and put Jamie on stretcher*

[commercial]

**_Bit:_**  Hi, I'm Bit Cloud from the Blitz Team.  You know, the Blitz Team.  We won the Royal Cup and beat all you losers.  Well anyways, I'm here to tell you about Rogaine.  That's right, believe it or not, I used to be bald.  I used Rogaine, and now look at my beautiful blonde hair.  So use Rogaine, 'cause it works.

**_Really fast-talking guy that says things you aren't supposed to hear so fast that you can't hear them:_**  This guy was never actually bald. Results may vary. May cause bloating, ear infections, cramps, pinkeye, hair-loss, serious heart problems, and other complications may occur. Consult your doctor before use.

[end commercial]

Jamie:  And, we're back.  I passed out there, but now I'm fine.  Pierce, *turns to Pierce* can I ask you a few questions?

Pierce:  Sure!

Jamie:  Okay, do you like the Storm Sworder or Zabat better?

Pierce:  Definitely the Storm Sworder.  It's very cool.

Jamie:  Okay, um, do you think I obsess about my Zoids too much?

Pierce:  No, why, I think it's important to care deeply about your Zoids.  I don't think you're too worried at all.

Jamie:  Thanks……oh, I'd like to ask you more questions, but our next guest has been waiting very patiently.  Thanks for your time Pierce.

Pierce:  No problem. *leans over and kisses Jamie* *goes back into audience*

Jamie:  ………………………………………our next guest is none other than Harrison Ford!!!

Harrison Ford:  *walks out and sits next to Jamie* Hi everyone.

Female half of audience:  Ooooooh! *sigh* *passes out*

Jamie:  Riiigght.  So, Mr.Ford, can I ask you some questions?

Ford:  Sure thing Jamie.

Jamie:  What's it like to be a movie star?

Ford:  Well, it's- *cell phone rings* (on phone) Yeah…no…I…huh?…I can't right now, I'm on Jamie Hemeros's talk show…okay…see ya soon. *click/beep* (to Jamie) Uh, it's busy, as you can see, and I've gotta go to see my agent right now.  Thanks for letting me be on your show.

Jamie:  Sure thing.  Ladies and, well, I guess just gentlemen, Harrison Ford!

Audience (only guys):  Yaay!!

Ford:  *leaves*

Jamie:  And don't forget, we've got signed posters from his movies!  Buy them after the show!

Female half of audience:  *wakes up* Huh? Yaaay!!! *runs down and mobs the guy selling posters*

Jamie:  Right…our next guest is my father, Oscar Hemeros, A.K.A. the Wild Eagle.

Oscar:  Hi son.  Hi everyone.

Audience (still only guys):  Hi Oscar!

Jamie:  So, dad.  Anything you'd like to say to our viewers?

Oscar:  Stay in school, and practice flying at least once a day.

Jamie:  Okay.  Any questions for me or my dad?

BlueAngel:  Why do you always whine about your Pteras when the Raynos is so much cooler?!?!?!

Jamie:  I don't know, I guess I just really liked my Pteras.  Hey, I don't whine!

Oscar:  Any more questions?

Pierce:  Wanna go out with me?

Jamie:  ……

Oscar:  You have my permission.

Pierce:  Yay! *carries Jamie off*

Oscar:  Looks like I'm finishing off the show.  Well, have a nice night everyone, and vote for us!

**Shadowwolf:**  Well…first of all, I'd like to say that I obviously don't own Harrison Ford, and I REALLY DON'T want to get sued by him.

**Brad:**  Like he'd read this anyway…

**Shadowwolf:**  *glare* Ehem.  I hope Jamie's having a good time on his date with Pierce.

**Bit:**  I would think so.

**Shadowwolf:**  I can't believe you did a stupid commercial for Rogaine.

**Bit:**  Hey, I got my thirty seconds of fame.

**Shadowwolf:**  Right.  And by the way, what Oscar meant by 'vote for us' was that, when all of these shows are done, I'll do one last one.  You must vote for who you want to have another show though.  Well, please review, and I hope you enjoyed! ^_^


	6. Leena's Late Ni

**Shadowwolf:**  HELLO!

**Brad:**  *holding head* Did you have to yell it?

**Shadowwolf:**  YES!

**Bit:**  *also holding head* Why?!

**Shadowwolf:**  'CAUSE I WANT TO!

**Leena:**  Shadowwolf, either shut up, or I'm gonna come over there and BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU!!!!

**Shadowwolf:**  *whispering while cowering in fear* Okay…

**Leena:**  I thought so, now I'm gonna go get ready for my show. *walks off*

**Shadowwolf:**  ……So, how have you guys been?

**Brad & Bit:**  Fine!  Even though we need hearing aids now!!

**Shadowwolf:**  I'm sorry.  Thanks everyone, for reading and reviewing! Oh yeah… *stares strangely at Brad*

**Brad:**  What?

**Shadowwolf:**  Don't forget, you have a date with Naomi_Flugel on Saturday… (see reviews)

**Brad:**  *heavy blush*

**Shadowwolf:**  I thought so.

**Brad:**  Um, I gotta go… *runs out*

**Shadowwolf:**  Well, now that I've done my duty as a good citizen…in this chapter, well, let's just say that you might want to read it from a bomb shelter.

**Leena:**  *from dressing room* I heard that!!

**Shadowwolf:**  *ehem* Shut up Leena, you're on in five!  Thanks again for all of the great reviews, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

TALK SHOWS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG CH 6,

LEENA'S LATE NI-**************************

(Judge)Announcer:  Tonight, it's Leena's Late Ni-************ (Judge gets shot by a barrage of missiles and freezes.)

Audience:  Huh?

*Gun Sniper bursts through wall and cockpit opens to reveal Leena. (who else?)*

Leena:  Hello everyone!

Audience:  Huh?

Leena:  I said 'hello' and very kindly I might add… *all of the Gun Sniper's guns and missiles point at audience*

Audience:  Ahhhh!  HELLO LEENA!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU?!?!

Leena:  That's better.  I'm fine, thanks.  How are you?

Audience (still at gunpoint):  GREAT!!

Leena:  Wonderful. *guns lower slightly* Now, does anyone have any questions for me?

BlueAngel:  Why do you always hurt Bit's spine?  Why not go for something else?  Neck maybe or perhaps a leg…

Leena:  You know, that's a great question.  I've never thought of that before.  I guess it's 'cause it's such a big target.  I like the idea of the neck or leg…thanks for the suggestion!  Any more questions?

Sailor Jurai:  Why did you get a Gun Sniper?

Leena:  That's easy, 'cause of all the weapons that can be mounted on it!!

Sailor Jurai:  Who do you like?

Leena:  *blush* Well, um…no one currently.  I'm still waiting for prince charming to ride in on his noble steed…

*Liger crashes through wall and makes another hole next to the one Leena made*

Bit:  Hey everyone!

Audience:  Hi Bit!  SAVE US!!!!!!!

Bit:  From what?

Audience:  THAT!! *points down at fuming Leena*

Leena:  BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU DAMAGED MY STUDIO!!!!!!!!!!!

Bit:  Uh oh…

[commercial]

**_Leena:_**  Hi! I'm Leena Toros for The P Shop.  This is the best parts store anywhere on Zi.  Where do you think I buy my ammo?  Good service too!  So come on down to The P Shop!  It's always open, and ready to serve you with a smile!

[end commercial]

[commercial]

**_Leena:_**  Hi!  I'm Leena Toros for Ammo Nation. (Play on words, you know, Ammo-Nation, is like Ammunition? Get it, huh, huh? Oh never mind…) For any kind of ammo, this place can't be beat!  Where do you think I buy my ammo?  They've got all kinds of ammo, for every gun and Zoid imaginable!  I've tested every kind of bullet and missile they sell, and that was just in one barrage!  It was only one, but it was huge and destructive! So come on down to Ammo Nation, where the motto is, 'If it explodes, impacts, or destroys, you'll find it at Ammo Nation!'

[end commercial]

*Liger is running far away from the studio, while Bit lies motionless on the ground*

Leena:  We're back.  While you were gone, I just taught Bit a little lesson.  And I took your advice BlueAngel, look at his legs!

*everyone turns to see Bit's legs bent backwards*

Audience:  Oooooh.  Ouch.

Leena:  Yeah.  Any more questions before my first guest shows up?

Audience:  ……………………

Leena:  Okay.  Now, my first guest is, well, she's despicable, snotty, and my rival, Naomi Flugel!

Audience:  Yaaay!!!!

Leena:  WHAT?! *blows up audience*

*Brad runs out from backstage*

Brad:  Despicable and snotty?! *grabs Leena by shirt*

Leena:  Uh, yeah, he, he…

Brad:  I'll show you!!

*Leena brings up her right leg and swiftly kicks him, well, you know where…*

Brad:  *soprano* OWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! *falls over backwards*

Leena:  There, now where's Naomi?

Naomi:  I'm right here.

Leena:  Oh…so, why don't you have a seat…

Naomi:  *walking by motionless Bit* Heh… *walking by motionless Brad* Oh, poor guy. *sits down next to Leena*

Leena:  So, you want to answer a few questions?

Naomi:  Sure…

Leena:  Well, why do you hate my Gun Sniper?

Naomi:  It's got way too many weapons, and it looks like it's gonna fall over backwards.  Simply put, it's ridiculous.

Leena:  IS NOT!!!!

Naomi:  You're getting a little creepy…

Leena:  Let's prove who's Gun Sniper is better! AHHAHAHAHAHA! *jumps in Gun Sniper and starts shooting at Naomi, who isn't even in a Zoid*

Naomi:  Jeeze! *runs out of studio*

Leena:  Well, I guess I'll finish the show before I go to kill Naomi.  Did I say kill?  I meant 'severely injure'.  You guys have a nice night, okay?  I'm gonna go settle who's Gun Sniper's better!

*bullet comes out from nowhere and hits Leena's Gun Sniper*

Naomi:  No need, I just did… *smirk*

Leena:  NAOMI!!!!!!!!  THAT WASN'T FAIR!!!!!!!

Naomi:  Oh, like breaking Bit's legs and kicking poor Brad 'where the sun don't shine' IS?

Leena:  No but-

Naomi:  And neither is shooting at someone who doesn't even have a Zoid.  Now, admit my Gun Sniper is better.

Leena:  NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naomi:  *reloads* Okay, I'll just have to destroy yours then.

Leena:  *grumbles* Your Gun Sniper's better.

Naomi:  Now, that wasn't so hard was it?

Leena:  You just wait Naomi!  You'll get yours!!

**Shadowwolf:**  That was disturbing and violent.  Oh well.  I feel sorry for Brad and Bit the most.  Ouch.

**Brad:**  *in wheelchair* You can say that again.

**Bit:**  *also in wheelchair* Yeah.

**Shadowwolf:**  I'm sorry you guys.  Thanks to everyone for reading!  Please review and the next show will be hosted by Leon Toros!!!! ^ ^


	7. Leon Toros's 'Ultimate Potential' Show

**Shadowwolf:**  Hi everybody!!!  Hello wonderful reviewers!!  It's so wonderful to get good reviews.  It makes me SO happy…

**Bit:**  Oh, brother…

**Shadowwolf:**  Shut up Bit!  What, did you think I was gonna go into some long thing about how emotional I get over good reviews?

**Bit:**  Exactly.

**Shadowwolf:**  Well then, mister, you don't know me very well.  Well, this episode will be hosted by Leon Toros!  And man, do we have some interesting questions for you…

**Leon:**  *gulp*

**Shadowwolf:**  Oh don't worry, only one or two personal questions.  So, let's get on with it!  Disclaimer:  I DON'T own Zoids, the characters, or anything in the story.  Don't sue.

**Leon:**  Um, I'm gonna go get ready. *walks off*

**Shadowwolf:**  Okay then…on to the fic! *maniacal laughter*

TALK SHOWS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG CH 7,

LEON TOROS'S 'ULTIMATE POTENTIAL' SHOW

(Judge)Announcer:  Live from the Flugel Base, (do they have a base?) it's Leon Toros's 'Ultimate Potential' Show!!

Audience:  Yaaay!

Leon:  *walks out and sits in big comfy chair* Hello everyone!  How are you guys?

Audience:  Great, Leon!

Leon:  Good.  Well, before we start, does anyone have any questions?

Bit (in audience):  What IS 'ultimate potential'?

Leon:  I'm glad you asked Bit, well, 'ultimate potential' is…

(half an hour lecture about 'ultimate potential')

Leon:  …and is the key to the 'ultimate success'.  Any more questions?

Audience (asleep):  *snore*

Leon:  Okay, our first guest is actually in our audience, Bit Cloud!

Bit:  *snort* Huh?

Leon:  Come on down Bit!

Bit:  Oh. *walks down and sits in chair next to Leon*

Leon:  Now Bit, this will be short, since I got other guests, but, I'd like to ask you some things.

Bit:  Well, that'd be great.

Leon:  Okay.  Now, I know you're trying to reach you're ultimate potential, but do you think you have too much of an advantage with an Ultimate X, like the Liger Zero?

Bit:  Huh?

Leon:  Do you think it's unfair that you have an Ultimate X?

Bit:  Oh, not at all.  In fact, I think it tests pilots to the best of their abilities.  It's good to give other pilots a challenge.

Leon:  Okay, well, it was great having you, but our next guest is here.  Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the hardest luck team around.  I know we're talking about 'ultimate potential', but will these guys ever reach theirs?  (Don't get me wrong, the Fuzzy Pandas are awesome, but…) Please welcome, the Tigers team!

Tigers:  *walk in* *sit next to Bit* Hi.  That was kind of a rude intro, don't you think?

Bit:  Not at all, in fact, he didn't even use your real name.  He should've said, "Please welcome the Fuzzy Pandas!"

Omari:  Watch it buddy!

Lineback:  Yeah, one more word from you, and we'll break your worthless spine!

Kirkland:  Exactly!

Bit:  Fellas, fellas, no need for fighting.  I was just saying that you really need to change your name to fit you better.

Kirkland:  That's it!

*Fuzzy P-err, Tigers team dives on Bit*

Leon:  Now, now guys, calm down.  Security, get Bit outta here!

*Security takes bruised Bit away*

Leon:  Now then, why do you guys think you have such bad luck?

Omari:  Well, thanks for not saying we're bad pilots, I guess we just have hard times every once in a while.

Leon:  Right.  Well, thanks for coming, and after this commercial we'll have our next guest. *Tigers team leaves*

[commercial]

**_Brad:_**  *walking among poorly clothed, and sad children* Hi.  I'm Brad Hunter from the Blitz team.  There are thousands of homeless children in the world.  All you have to do to help them, is pay 25 cents a day.  *picks up small child* Tigomi is glad that I sent her money.  Think of how happy you could make other kids.  For just 25 cents a day, you can save one of these children.  To donate, please call 1-800-555-1235.  Thanks.

[end commercial]

Leon:  We're back.  Our next guest is beautiful, talented, and my partner, Naomi Flugel!

Naomi:  *walks in, you know* Hi Leon.

*Brad walks out from backstage*

Brad:  Leon!  You better watch it pal!

Leon:  So, I can't call Naomi beautiful?

*stare down between Brad and Leon*

Naomi:  Oh, Brad, that commercial you did with the homeless children was so sweet.

Brad:  *blushes* Oh, thanks…

*Naomi gets up and kisses him on the cheek*

Audience:  Ooooooo.

Leon:  Since when did you guys wake up?

Audience:  Oh, sorry.

Naomi:  Now Brad, be good and go backstage, okay?

Brad:  Sure… *walks backstage*

Leon:  *sits down* Well, now that he's gone…Naomi!

Naomi:  Yeah?

Leon:  Questions!  Um, do you date your teammates?

Naomi:  *knowing where he's getting at, but trying not to show it* Not usually.  I haven't had many teammates, and most of them have been women. (^_~ Kind of inside joke for Naomi Hunter. ^_~)

Leon:  Okay…um, why do you have a Gun Sniper?

Naomi:  Well, I like the Zoid's ability to sniper so easily.  Overall, it's a great Zoid.

Leon:  Okay.  Do you like my Blade Liger?

Naomi:  *puzzled* Yeah…

Leon:  Cool!  We agree on something!

Naomi:  Um, Leon, you're weirding me out, I'm gonna go now… *waves to audience and walks off*

Leon:  Oh.  Well.  Um.  Any questions from our audience?

An angry guy from the audience:  LEON!  You stink because you left the Blitz Team!  Go join back to them!!!!

Leon:  Oh yeah? You wanna go?

AGFTA:  Bring it!

Shadowwolf:  *runs out from behind camera* Leon!  Knock it off!  I don't usually interfere, but this is getting out of hand Leon!  Settle down!

Leon:  Fine.  Next question.

Rikku:  Wanta go on a date?

Leon:  *blush* Maybe sometime…

Rikku:  Why did you team up with Naomi?

Leon:  Uh, um, 'cause she's a good pilot. *blush*

BlueAngel:  Do you like Naomi?

Leon:  *heavy blush* Where the heck did you get that idea?!  Besides, you all know she likes that, that, *mumbles about 13 bad sailor words (Spongebob!) to describe Brad*

Audience:  Oooooooooooooh!

Leon:  Shut up!

Bit:  So, I guess you DO like Naomi!

Leon:  Shut up!  Hey, where'd you come from?!

Bit:  You have bad security.  They let me go after just 10 minutes.

Leon:  Oh.  Any other questions?

*someone sitting next to BlueAngel walks out of audience and gives Leon a kiss*

Audience:  Oooooooooooooh!!

Leon:   ……*sigh* Who are you?

????:  I'm Alice.  (Thanks BlueAngel! ^_-)

Leon:  A-a-a-alice?

Alice:  Yup!

Leon:  Cool…wanna be my girlfriend?

Alice:  Definitely!

Leon:  COOL!  In your face Brad!  I have a girlfriend!  Ha, ha, ha!!  You may like Naomi, but you guys aren't going out, now are you?!  Wooohoooo!

Audience:  ……

Leon:  Oh, sorry.  Well, that's all the time we have for today.  Me and Alice are gonna go have some coffee or something.  Vote for me!  Not Brad!!

Audience:  ……

(My DEEPEST apologies to those that I missed when I put questions in. I tried to put them in, but I might've missed some. So sorry.)****

**Shadowwolf:**  Okay then.  (Special thanks to Wazzup! for giving Leon a girlfriend named Alice.  Great idea!  Also, thanks to gggg for wanting Leon to have a girlfriend too.)  I must say, Leon's weird.  Vote for Brad too!!

**Brad:**  Shadowwolf, I don't need you're pity.

**Shadowwolf:**  -_- Naomi!

**Brad:**  Where?! *sees Naomi dressed up for her show* O_O *passes out*

**Shadowwolf:**  I thought so.  Hey Naomi, you ready for your show?

**Naomi:**  Yep!

**Shadowwolf:**  Okay!  Thanks for reading, and please review!  Thanks! ^_^


	8. How Do You Describe Naomi's Show?

**Shadowwolf:**  HI!!!!  Guess what, Naomi's show is next!!

*everyone sweatdrops while Brad sits directly in front of the TV*

**Shadowwolf:**  That's not healthy for you Brad…

**Brad:**  You're right!  I'm gonna go get tickets!! *runs off to buy tickets*

**Shadowwolf:**  Jeeze, you'd think the guy would buy tickets ahead of time.  Everyone ready?

*Naomi walks in wearing…*

**Shadowwolf:**  WOW!  You're wearing a black tank top with a torn white one over it, a black anarchy sign on it, a Bondage skirt, and fishnet!! With spiked collars on your wrists, and a big one on your neck!! (Naomi Hunter is the professional fashion designer! ^_-) (Hey, I had to describe it in some way…)

**Naomi:**  You like?

**Shadowwolf:**  Very cool.  Are you ready for your show?

**Naomi:**  Sure.  Where's Brad?

**Shadowwolf:**  Probably sitting in the audience…

**Naomi:**  I'm gonna go get ready, and Shadowwolf?

**Shadowwolf:**  Yeah?

**Naomi:**  Thanks for letting me have a show. *runs off*

**Shadowwolf:**  Wow, she's the only one that's said thanks… *glares at others*

**Others:**  What?!  Thanks!! *runs away to watch show*

**Shadowwolf:**  Okay then.  Let's kick off this, um, thing.

**Bit:**  Real clever Shadowwolf.

**Shadowwolf:**  SHUT UP!!!! *Bit runs off* Well, disclaimer:  I DON'T own Zoids, the characters, or anything.  Naomi Hunter owns Naomi's cool outfit.  Don't sue.  Enough legal blabber, on with the show!!

TALK SHOWS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG

HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE NAOMI'S SHOW…?

Announcer:  GOOD EVENING EVERYBODY!

Audience:  Good evening!

Announcer:  Welcome to Naomi's talk show, which the producers/writers were too lazy and dumb to find out a title for!  This evening--

*gunshots are heard as stage wall explodes*

All:  *GASP*

*red Gun Sniper pokes head through the hole*

Gun Sniper:  ROAR!

*Naomi leaps out of cockpit conveniently into her big soft chair*

Naomi:  Hi everyone…

Guy half of audience:  AWWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

*Brad busts in with Shadow Fox*

Brad:  SHE'S MINE!!!!! *blows up audience, except for the women, who somehow survive*

Naomi:  Brad, you promised you wouldn't get into this…

Brad:  *sees outfit* AWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shadow Fox:  *not knowing what's going on but wants to get in on the howling* AWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Naomi:  I'm flattered…now, can you leave me to do my show?

Brad:  *drool* Uh, huh…

*5 minutes later*

Brad:  *drool*

Naomi:  BRAD!  LEAVE!!!

Brad:  O.O Yes ma'am! *quickly exits*

Naomi:  Anyway…tonight, for those of you who aren't charred and burning, we've got Mel Gibson (A/N: WHO I DON'T OWN!!!!!!!) and my team partner, Leon Toros.

Girls with "Br/N 4EVER!" shirts:  BOOOO!!!!

Naomi:  -_-;; So, let's welcome our first guest, Mr. Mel Gibson!

*Mel Gibson walks in wearing tux and rose in chest pocket*

Naomi:  Welcome Mel!

Mel Gibson:  Hi, excuse me, but, who are you?

Naomi:  Naomi Fluegel…I'm hosting the show.

Mel Gibson:  What show is this?  
Naomi:  Well, because my producers aren't creative… "Naomi's Talk Show."

Mel Gibson:  Oh, I was told this was the stage to the Academy Awards.

Naomi:  Is it that time of year already?

Mel Gibson:  Yeah, or at least that's what that guy told me… *points to geeky looking guy holding clipboard*

Guy holding clipboard:  He, he, he…

Mel Gibson:  Well, if this isn't the Academy Awards, I should probably get going, I've got movies to shoot.

Naomi:  *glares at G.H.C.* I understand.

Mel Gibson:  Hmm, I guess I could answer a couple questions.

Naomi:  REALLY?

Mel Gibson:  Sure.

Naomi:  Okay, number one, was it fun working with Heath Ledger in The Patriot? (A/N: WHICH I ALSO DON'T OWN!!!!)

Mel Gibson:  Yeah, he's pretty nice, and it was really fun to play a part in the Civil War.

Naomi:  Great, question two, are you married?

Mel Gibson:  Err…

Naomi:  Don't answer that, I was letting my mind wander.  Finally, do you think Zoids are good creatures, or evil demons?

Mel Gibson:  What's a Zoid?

Naomi:  Well, that answers that question.  Thanks for being on my show, good luck on future movies.

Mel Gibson:  Thanks. *smiles, waves, and exits*

Naomi:  After this break, my partner—

*shouts from Brad*

Brad:  TEAM partner, _TEAM_ partner…

Naomi:  Yes, TEAM partner, Leon Toros!

*commercial*

Leon:  Hey, you know what's a funny movie?  Zoolander!  Right now, you can get a limited edition set of Zoolander tapes, including…the movie, Backstage Silliness, and Outtakes/Bloopers!  Quick, if you call in the next five minutes, you'll get Outtakes/Bloopers Vol. 2, absolutely free!  *fast whisper* Just pay shipping and handling!  For only $19.95, you can own this magnificent set!  Operators are standing by!  Call today!

Fast-talking-guy:  Not valid in Utah, Mexico, Europe, Tahiti, and some parts of Russia.  Supplies are limited.  May cause bloating and nausea.  Batteries not included.

*end commercial*

Naomi:  Hey, welcome back to Naomi's show that doesn't have a creative name…

Producer:  What?  
Naomi:  *cough, cough* Next up, we've got my team partner, Leon Toros, come on out Leon!

*after two minutes, no one comes out*

Naomi:  What's going on here?!

Producer:  Technical difficulties!

Naomi:  Like what?

*big screen TV behind her cuts to backstage where Brad has somehow managed to get his Shadow Fox inside and hold Leon (tied to a chair and gagged) at Strike Laser Claw 'point.' (You know, like gunpoint! AHHAHAHAHAH!)*

Brad:  No body move, or Leon'll get it!

Leon:  Mum my mimimum moo mamee ming!

Brad:  YOU EXSIST!

Naomi:  You understood that?  
Brad:  Yeah, when you're stuck in an insane asylum for five years wearing a strait jacket and gagged! *gasp* You get used to the lingo!

Leon:  Melmp mee!

Brad:  ENOUGH!  Naomi, can I be on your show instead of Leon?  
Naomi:  *thinks* Sure, why not. *winks flirtingly*

Brad:  O.O YEAH!

*Brad leaps out of the Fox's cockpit only to be shot by National Park Service personnel with tranquilizer guns*

Naomi:  Quick, tie him while he's down!

*men run out, tie up Brad, drag him away, let Leon go, and do it all in two seconds!*

Leon:  *pant*

Naomi:  That took so long, I can only ask you one question.

Leon:  *pant* Shoot. *pant*

Naomi:  Do you like Brad as a friend?

Leon:  *pant* Not…anymore…

Naomi:  Thanks, you have a great night!

*security ushers Leon offstage*

Naomi:  After this message, time for questions!!!!

*commercial*

Brad:  Just a message to kids out there…make sure you take your medication.  ADD is serious, and needs to be treated seriously.  I take my medicine, and I'm mellow as a druggy.  Whoops, wasn't supposed to say that.  Anyway, take your prescription medicine if you want to succeed in school!

Special informative person:  Brought to you by the Romeo City Insane Asylum.

*end commercial*

Naomi:  So, questions from the audience!!!!

Shiro Amayagi:  Hey Naomi, why are you and Brad acting like schoolgirls around each other when there are at least 9,000,000 lemon fics about you on the net? Also, do you need a Geno Breaker on your team? I got a red one...I'm a good fighter...I don't need too much food...I'm not reckless like Leena...I have an organoid...I play guitar...is it a yes or a no? Please say yes!!! I REALLY don't want to join the Fuzzy Pandas!!!

Naomi:  Umm…good questions.  WAIT?  Lemon fics? *blush*

Brad: *watching from unknown location* YEAH!!!!!!!

Naomi:  Well…I don't really know why.  A Geno Breaker?  Sure, why not?  I'll talk to Leon, but he shouldn't care.  So basically, YES.

Sailor Zi:  Do you like Leon?  Why are you called The Red Comet?  Do you hate Leena?  Do you think Raven looks like Vega?

Naomi:  Leon?  Well, like a brother, but I wouldn't go out with him.

Leon:  *in nurse's room* NO!!

Naomi:  One of my favorite colors is red, and my Zoid is too.  The comet part comes in because I strike so fast.  Warriors who get hit by my bullets sometimes call them comets.  Don't hate, dislike, yes.  I think she's a bit spoiled, not to mention wasteful.

Leena:  *in audience* You wanna go?!

Naomi:  Bring it!

Leena:  It's already been broughten!

Naomi:  That was so teen-movie-ish.  Get a life.  Anyway, Zi, I guess he does look a bit like Vega.  Do you think they're related?

Liger_Fangz (now Nao_Chan):  Would you ever do it with a mercenary?

Naomi:  *big blush* Well, depends on the mercenary…

Brad:  *still in unknown location* WAHHOOO!!!!

Naomi:  Thanks for your questions everybody, but we're out of time!  Thanks for coming, and please vote for me to have another show!  Show business rocks!

**Shadowwolf:**  *watching tape of show over and over again* Oy…Brad… *phone rings*

**Jamie:**  Shadowwolf, it's for you, Brad.

**Shadowwolf:**  Uh oh.  *takes phone* Brad?  Where are you?"

**Brad:**  Romeo City Insane Asylum.  They brought me here when I tried to hold Leon hostage.

**Shadowwolf:**  *cringe* I see…

**Brad:**  I need to get a kind of…well, let's call it a bail.  $100,000.

**Shadowwolf:**  WHAT?!?!  
**Brad:**  Either that, or they plan to keep me for a year!!!!

**Shadowwolf:**  Too bad, looks like you're stuck there for a year pal.

**Brad:**  NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

**Shadowwolf:**  Do you have access to a padded room?

**Brad:**  Yeah…

**Shadowwolf:**  Then, what's the problem?

**Brad:**  o.o?

**Shadowwolf:**  I've always wanted one of those. Chow.

**Brad:**  WAIT!

*Shadowwolf hangs up*

**Brad:**  AHHH!!!!  No, not the happy room!  NO!!! FUZZY PINK BUNNIES!!!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

**Shadowwolf:**  Heh, heh… ^_^;; Hope you enjoyed.  I had fun writing it!  (Oh yeah, don't own Zoolander either…) Also, sorry if I missed any questions for Naomi, I kinda had to do it fast.  Let me know if I missed your question, and I'll get it in as soon as possible.  Thanks for reading! ^___^


End file.
